The story begins on one peaceful day in 1999 Colorado, when Preiden from Galeton, Pennsylvania decides to enroll in Columbine High School...

Preiden goes to the class and goes to sit in his seat. He sees that Eric is in the same class and tries to sneak a glance at him during the class. Eric sees Preiden trying to get a look of him and thinks "what the fuck..." The class goes on and as it ends, the students make their way to the hallway. "Uhm... h-h-hello E-E-E-Eric... U-uhm..... M-my name is Brayden and I-I'm from Pe-Pennsylvania... I-I-I-...... I get hard when I hear your voice". Eric stares at the bugga named preiden in disgust as he processes the words in his brain that he just heard. "did i hear this right..?" he makes sure with dylan "woah eric seems like someone does want you after all!" Dylan teases, "Shut the fuck up" eric raises his voice at dylan "I- i love you eric. Always have" Preiden intervenes. The people next to them try to hold their laugh as they hear preiden's words. Eric feels embarassed because of preiden, he thinks to himself "god they are gonna make fun of me now..","get lost, faggot" eric yells at preiden, his face twisting into disgust. He looks over at the two jet-black haired girls, being embarassed and mad, his face turning red as he is flustered since he likes them in some way and doesn't want them to think he's a fucking fag. "yea get lost, you fucking queer" one of them yells at preiden and giggles. Eric looks at them and smirks.He confidently walks over to them, "Hey ladies," "Hello.. who are you again?" one of them says. Preiden looks at them in envy, being jealous about the fact that Eric is talking to them. Preiden clenches his fist, being angry and he starts to shake because of his soical anxiety. "This can't be possible, how is he talking to them" he thinks. While eric is holding up the conversation he sees preiden violently foaming at his mouth in the corner of his eye, "what a fucking weirdo.., my place tonight?" he asks the two gothic looking girls he just met, they agree on a time and split ways. Preiden, still being mad yells at the girls "fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!" he runs to the school library with an idea, he's gonna try to make a hate website for the two girls. But... when he arrives after running like a cow he discovers that he doesn't even know basic html and he can't make a website. "Ohhhh fuuckkk i'm so stupiiidd" he says in a gay voice. "But wait a minute.... i heard them talking about meeting at Eric's house this night...." he thinks as he rubs his hands like a fly "I should follow those two!" he gathers his things and follows the two girls to their house after school.

After waiting in the bush for about 3 hours he finally sees the girls leave and get in their car "god damn it! I dont even have a car because im 12!" Preiden starts to run but stumbles and falls to the ground because he doesn't know how to tie shoelaces. He gets up and removes his shoes, now barefoot he runs after the car. He somehow manages to run after the car and follow the smell of burning tire, now with bloody feet he is finally by erics house. He rubs his hands again like a fly on Eric's front yard. "hehehe now i found you" he says. He quietly finds the backyard and Eric's windows near the ground, after peeking in and seeing them doom and chill he feels rage take over him. "Those f-fucking cunts...Eric is MINE, MINE MINE MINE!!!!!" he yells alone in the yard. Eric hears the fuss outside and sees preiden stomping on the ground "What...what the fuck? is that the new fat fag kid from school?" he jumps up from his bed and finds the shotgun hidden under it, he runs outside without even thinking how he looks like, he was glad his parents werent home. He finds preiden and threatens him "Leave my yard you freak!..or get it" Preiden looks at Eric, shaking from fear "Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh!!! please don't kill me!!" he says. Frozen with fear at first, preiden runs away like prey running from the predator. Preiden hides in the nearby bush. Eric is pretty weirded out by the whole situation.. a stalker? that's new to him. He finds his way back to his room and hopes that preiden is gone for good, he's gonna tell Dylan about this tomorrow. After it was time for the girls to go home he starts updating his website, "Today somethin' really fucking weird happened. Some fucking fag from the school came to my house to stalk me. First he embarassed me at school in front of some girls and then he came to my fucking house? He is definently going to my list. I won't let him embarass me again. If he ever crosses me again, he IS FUCKIN' DEAD BECAUSE DEAD PEOPLE CAN'T EMBARASS ME!!!" after ranting on his website he had to make his bed again since it was so messed up from before.

(Next day) During lunch he finds Dylan and sits next to im, "Hey man, remember that fag from yesterday? well he stalked those girls and found out where i live!", "We should do something about it" Dylan suggests. "Definitely, i already put him on my shit list" Eric says with a mischievous grin on his face. Preiden sits alone during lunch with a massive pile of food in front of him. He stalks Eric again while eating food. The two girls walk past preiden and see him with a huge pile of carrots, one of them pours some milk on him, making some people nearby laugh. Totally normal in Columbine High School. The prank catches Eric's attention and he laughs a bit "Well that fag got what he deserved." Preiden starts quietly crying, "Why...why me? god damn it..dattebayo..why did my grandparents have to move here, this shithole Littleton!" , "Stop crying bitch" one of the girls say to him. "Shut up... shut up shut up shut up!!!!" Preiden shouts, silencing the commons, he has now everyones attention. "I-.. i can't take this anymore! I've been here f-for only a day and im already being hardcore bullied! even though this type of stuff usually makes my little willy splurge, this is too much! Guys, we are supposed to be a family, the Columbine High School rebels! So please, let's end this baka bullying together!" Everyone stares at him in silence, while he gets up and poses while saying "Please l-lets stop bullying" crystal clear tears flowing from his eyes, "P-please guys..", "He should be killed" one of the girls mumbles quietly, everyone starts to whisper, seemingly agreeing. Preiden runs out of the cafeteria with his plate of carrots secured in his hands, he quietly eats his food in the bathroom. "I w-w...would get my revenge but i don't know if im brave enough" he whispers to himself, not realising there is someone in the stall next to him. "What revenge?" the person next stall asks him "And are you eating fucking carrots in here..", "You didn't hear me..heh" Preiden answers "Im going to report you to the principal!" The person next stall says to him. Preiden eats his carrots quickly and runs to the library, shaking from the fear of being reported to the principal.

In the library he finds the school computer and logs into his logal gay matching website, he matches with an older fella and finds him by the bar after school, "He's quite h-handsome" he thinks to himself, after seeing the tall blonde with aviator glasses. "U-uhm hi i'm Preiden... i'm from Pennsylvania..." "What about you, w-whats your name..?" Preiden asks, "My name is Jeffrey." the handsome guy naswers, "But you can call me Jeff.." Preiden fiddles his fingers, obviously nervous, he's never seen such a nice guy before. "Well what are we waiting for, let's go back to my place" Jeff says, "Oh boy" I'd love that!" Preiden yelps. They go up the stairs and enter apartment 213, Preiden is met with the smell of rotten flesh but he's into that. "Wow your place is so cunty" Preiden shouts in a happy voice, unaware of everything that's about to happen. "Sit down, i made food earlier" Jeff says in a monotone voice, "What is it?" Preiden asks curiously, "Oh.. it's just a pork sandwich", he got his answer. After eating and drinking he starts to feel dizzy and falls asleep. After what probably felt like hours he woke up in an empty apartment, he finds himself in a blue vat, covered in some weird smelling liquid (it's acid but his skin is too thick for it to do anything) he just leaves "Hmm this was weird" .

BACK IN ERICS HOUSE. "What you will find on my body in april" he tells the camera and finally turns it off. The two girls go to Eric's door and knock on it, asking if he wants to hang out. "Hey, come in for a second i need to get ready." They enter his house and sit on the couch, waiting for him to get ready downstairs. Preiden finds his way again to Eric's house, he tries to looks inside from the window but he is too short so he can't see anything. "Ohhhh fuucckkkk why am i so short" he cries. He walks around, trying to solve how he can stalk them. He then realises the front door is unlocked and he gets a very mischievous idea.. He then rubs his hands like a bug with an idea on his mind "Heh" he says to himself. He opens the door as quietly ass possible and sneaks in while walking like a robber from a cartoon. He sneaks to the kitchen and takes a carrot and starts eating it. He realises it's a baby carrot and suddenly remembers he likes raping them. "Oh... this baby carrot.. it looks so young.. and rapeable.."He says to himself and starts to lick the poor carrot in a sexual way. "No one has to know about this..baby" he whispers into the carrot. He starts to suck the carrot "Ohh....mhhhh.. such a good little carrot.. i get so hard from this.." He says it aloud. He then starts violently raping the underage minor carrot, it makes so much noise that the girls and Eric heard it. "What is that noise" The girls look at each other with confusion. "What the fuck.. my parents shouldn't be home right now.. who is that in the kitchen?" Preiden keeps raping the little minor baby carrot while sucking on another carrot. Eric walks upstairs and sees Preiden, his stalker, in his kitchen fucking a baby carrot (insert record scratch sound effect) Preiden looks at Eric while raping the baby carrot "Oh gawwdd, fuck fuck fuck.. uuhhmm- this is not what it looks like heh!" Eric is just shocked, "Im calling the police, this is getting out of control." Preiden starts throwing carrots at Eric and drops the raped baby carrot on the floor. "Pleaaassee ohh fucckkkk do not call the police" he pleads. Eric just walks towards his landline and calls the police, he is so done with Preiden. "Please.... i just fucking love baby carrots... you don't understand.." he pleads and bows down to Eric "Pleasee i love you" Preiden says and grabs Eric's ankles and lays on the floor "Noou pleasee" he pleads. The girls come to the kitchen and look at the scene and say "Whattheheeeeeeeel!", "Please come quick, he is not mentally well!" Eric whispers, "Stay on the phone with me, sir" Preiden is so desperate to get Eric's attention that he starts to lick his shoes, Eric kicks Preidens face with his beautiful amazing shoes, so that they don't get Preiden germs, "What the hell are you doing here, fag" one of the girls ask Preiden, "Uhm....i-i-i.." he stutters. Preiden reaches out to his pocket and takes fentanyl "I love carrots..I'll never be understood! He gets a seizure and starts foaming at his mouth and shaking on the floor "Help me i am dyinn" Preiden cries but a few minutes later he feels normal. Preiden offers fentanyl to Eric and he takes it with a good idea in his mind, "Thank you, i will be using this for good, now get lost fatass!", "I swear i'm not fat it just looks like it because of my big clothes!" Preiden cries. While preiden is explaining why he's not fat the police have arrived, "GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!" one of them shouts and tackles him, "I can't breathe" Preiden whispers, "Shut the fuck up NIGGER" the police officer yells at preiden, an acorn fell and the police shot preiden, "Owww faaakk why did you shoot me!!" he cries. "STOP RESISTING" one of the policemen yell, taking him to the car. Preiden is so fat that the officer requests backup for more people to carry him into the car. "Backup needed, this NIGGER is so fat.", more police officers come and help the officer to carry preiden into the car, "Sorry for the inconvenience, have a great day!" they leave with Preiden.

"Please do not take me to jail, how can i explain this to my grandma" Preiden says to the police officers, "Shut up chinese fatass nigger, move yourself! meet your new home for the month" tears flowing from his eyes, he's taken to his cell, as he steps in he's greeted with 3 tattooed big black men in orange. "Oh h-hello my name is Preiden.. I'm from Pennsylvania." He says as he takes a carrot from his pocket, "And this is my baby!" as he kisses the carrot. They all look at him with a look no one can describe, "Showers gonna be great." One says to the other, "This one is quite the piece of meat" the other says and winks his eye at Preiden.

(5 hours later) "Time to shower i guess.. I'm so embarassed!" As he's in the shower the 3 black men walk in and start showering next to him, waiting for the right moment, "Oops.. dropped my soap heh" Preiden bends down to pick up the soap and a lot of baby carrots drop to the floor from his fat rolls. "A bit weird but we can work with that" one of the 3 says, grabbing him "Oh he's quite heavy" one of them says. "Oooh he's quite nice! you sure this is your first time?" One of them has a camera (Now you know where the famous "Prison Triple Penetration" movie comes from!) "Oh i-i don't think that i am racist anymore heh" preiden says "Baaaaaaka! I was supposed to be a skinhead! i still love Eric but these rasta men..heh...bomboclat!!" Preiden says to himself as he gets escorted back to his cell, "Aoow! walk slower my ass hurts! wait.. did i just say a bad word? golly gosh!! dattebayo! i am becoming a bad boy heh!" Preiden takes his carrot and goes to sleep on the floor with it.

Meanwhile at Eric's house he's planning on how to poison Preiden with fentanyl "Okay girls so ya'll distract him and i'm gonna sneak it into his food","Hm how are we going to distract him because he's gay?" one of the girls say, "Just take out carrots from the bag and he's gonna follow the smell","Yea okay, let's go visit him in the prison" she says and takes a big carrot from the bag, they get in his prelude and drive to the local prison, they get to reception and ask for Preiden Galeton, "Yes he's here, let me give you guys the visitor badges" the reception bugga says and gives visitor badges to them all, they walk to the visitors room and see Preiden sitting there, "Eric-chan! I knew you would come to see me... with those girls...rrghhh" He starts foaming at his mouth. "Whatever, we have a gift for you, just take this, for me.","Anything for you Rebb-chan!! wait you're leaving already? aww.." Preiden yanks the carrot to himself, he starts ripping it apart with his teeth like a feral dog, "Gosh this carrot is extra yummy! i wonder why"

(10 minutes later) Preiden falls off the chair so hard the whole building shook, leaving a hole in the ground and a bunch of deaf prisoners. After a while officers come with a medical patient lift elevator and lift preiden up with it. "He's so heavy, how didn't this machine break" one of the officers say. The men are having a hard time breathing , there's dust everywhere. Upon a closer look the officers notice feces covered walls and Preiden's sperm stained clothes. "This is ground zero! Get this fat blob out of here NOW!" one of the officers yell, Preiden gets escorted into the prison basement for isolation, as he's passed out people in hazmat suits walk in his medical isolaton chamber, for his examination. They give each other a nod and it begins, "His organs are quite heavy"; they all agree. As they're sewing up his empty body so his fat doesnt leak out during disposal, something starts glowing in one of the freezers, "What the.. we need to examine these." they take out a bunch of devices and one of them starts to beep, "It says.. high levels of radiation..oh my.. oh my GOD...10,000 roentgens per hour!!!! EVERYPONY GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!!!!","We have to call the military here" the officers call the military and a hundred us marines arrive to the scene, the people in hazmat suits immediately started feeling sick from the lethal amount of radiation, the soldiers start escorting all the people out including the prisoners, they can't stay in a prison full of radiation. A bunch of specialists were called to the scene to figure out how to escort preiden and how he is able to withstand the radiation. "Oh man this is worse than the fight in afghanistan" one of the marines say, "Alright we're gonna have to send our military grade robots down there to get them back in him and eliminate the threat" one of the sergeants say.

"There we're some visitors today, we should interview them." one of the military police officers say, "Wayne, you know something about them?","Let me see the visitor list." he says, the receptionist hands it out to him and to his surprise he reads out his son's name along with some girls he didn't recognize. "Why would my son visit this hamburger helper leaking slob, i need to get to the bottom of this.", "This really seems suspicious, i'll send someone to find them." One of them quickly proceeded to search for the group at Wayne's house, as he knocked on the door, Eric quickly welcomed him in with a concerned look. The marine soldier looked to be in his thirties, and Eric noticed his odd resemblence to himself, "I assume my dad has sent you?" The man in the uniform explained the radioactive torbulence that almost wrecked the whole prison and inquired on their visit's motives. His attention slowly drifted from Eric to the girls sitting in front of him, "What are you staring at" one of the girls say, as the guy was about to answer the doorbell suddenly rang and Eric opened the door, a redheaded girl quickly barged in, apologizing for being late and swiftly joining at their table. "Stop staring at us!" one of the girls say, Eric clenched his fists and gave him a jealous look as he felt protective of his girls, the marine just keeps on staring. Eric tries his best not to snap at him for acting like a creep and he quickly starts thinking of an alibi that would cover up Preiden's attempted murder. "Bye i'm leaving because you wont stop staring" one of the girls says and starts to walk away but the marine grabs her by her shoulder, "No you won't, i have some questions for everyone including you" he says with a smirk. He kept his arm tight on her shoulder, and it was clear to him that they were hiding something, "So ask away, what are you here for?" she says, the soldier sighed "What were you doing in that cell? you can't withhold any information from me or i will have to force it out of you.", "Force it out, hm..how?" she asks, that was his last straw as he grabbed the girl and shover her on the couch, she didn't seem to be bothered in the slightest, but before he was able to get his hands on her, Eric pointed his shotgun at him. "Well, that was rough." she says.

The military took Preiden back to their base and place him in an underground cell for further examination, what they didn't expect was that only 5 hours later the russian military would come to steal their spy back. They bombed the whole place and fly Preiden back to Siberia with their helicopter,"We have to prepare a room full of carrots for experiment 814" one of the russian scientists say. "Heh can i now be a real skinhead?! 1488 heh" Preiden asks. They just stare at it in confusion.

Back in the states Eric is scrolling on his computer as usual and comes across a forum with the name "The normal forum", "Hmph, what's so normal about it?" He scrolls to the discussion on the forum and finds a chat about Preiden, "Preiden's..goon cave.. what the hell does that even mean?" he thinks to himself. On it there are thousands of messages from someone with the username Soical_anxiety4, all of them are about how his 25 inch cock is hard, "What the fuck? we all saw his small carrot that one day when he flashed the whole school, whatever.. let's read the rules." 1. request emojis 2.no bullying preiden 3.no foreigners grr we hate them because they are too real 4.no racism 5.dani worship every day at 5, "Hell no, requesting emojies? i'm never gonna come back to this lame ass forum again" The normal forum is hosted by russians and they manage to install viruses on Eric's computer, "What the hell is happening to my computer?" he says, Russian popups start to fill up Eric's screen, "I shouldn't have opened that lame normal forum" he says and sighs. Eric becomes frustrated with the russian virus on his computer and goes to lay in his bed, he stares at the ceiling and thinks to himself "Someone has to pay for this.. Where did that fatass go".

Back in Siberia Preiden wakes up from his cell because a Russian soldier came to knock on the door. "Wake up experiment 814." they say, "We have a letter for you, please sign it here." Preiden signs it but has no idea what it is since it's all in Russian, it has a big headline saying "ПОВЕСТКА", Heh i guess this is normal" Preiden signs it, "Very well. Tomorrow you wake at 5 and we will come to get you." one of the russian soldiers say before leaving. "Wake up at 5? heh what am i going to the military or something" at exactly 04.58 : "Get dressed 814, you're coming with me" after getting dressed he gets in the car with several other Russian men, unaware. "Um- where are we going you guys?" none of the men speak English, so he's left without an answer. Upon arrival he is forced out of the car in what seems to be a military base, "Heh stop joking! seriously.. where are we?" he starts looking around, "GET IN LINE" some guy shouts with a heavy Russian accent. The russian soldiers yell "СЕР ДА СЕР" and get in line. "Ser da ser? what does that mean" he mumbles to himself. Preiden is so fat that he rolls into the line. "NEW GUYS TO THE RIGHT TO GET YOUR COMBAT UNIFORM", "Combat uniform? nani?" Preiden says. Its preidens turn to get his but they don't have a size large enough so they send him to the storage room to find one himself, once he gets there he notices 2 Russian boys talking to each other, "Umm hey guys? i need an extra extra extra large combat uniform please. heh.." One of the soldiers go to look for it while the other watches over him, once he gets it he thanks them and gets changed.

"YOUR CAR IS LEAVING IN A MINUTE GET IN THERE SOLDIER GALETON!" Preiden hops in the car and asks the car full of serious and scared looking Russian guys, "Where are we going you bakas?", one of the guys answers silently "To Ukraine.", "Shut up fatass dolbaeb" one of the other guys say. "NANI?!?!!! to U-u-u-ukraine?..golly gosh!" once he arrived he is given an airsoft gun because he can't be trusted with a real one, "We are going to give you 2 grenades just in case but be VERY careful.", "Oioioi i-i'll try to! heh.. I WONT LET YOU DOWN SIR-CHAN!!" Everyone gives him a weird look.

Once they arrive at the front line Preiden is sent to throw the 2 grenades he has, "Okay soo. how do these things exactly work.. i'm just gonna pull it.. i can't look!!" he tries to throw the grenade at ukrainians but he doesn't have enough strength and on top of that he closed his eyes and has bad aim, so he accidentally threw the grenade behind him, unaware that that's where his group is. "YOU FUCKING MORO-" is the last thing he heard before getting splattered by different body parts and blood, and only then he realises what he's done. He just killed his 9 fellow combat buddies! Now,all alone in the middle of a field, with no one but him and ukrainians, he gets ready to fight for glorious motherland Russia! But to his shock his gun shoots out white tiny balls! The ukrainians run out to capture him "N-NO!HELP! Wait.. Ahh finally men are touching me..heh!" He is kinda happy about the situation.

Back in the US Eric is reading Waynes daily newspaper when he notices something weird "Young Russian spy captured in Ukraine" he takes a look at the tiny picture of him, "Wait a second.. is that Preiden? No.. can't be" He chuckles.